In Sickness and Health
by routavaurio
Summary: It has been a hectic week for the Guardians, and to top it all off they all seem to have caught a cold. Everyone except Jack Frost, that is. They are now stuck in North Pole with only yetis and the mischievous winter spirit to take care of them. It's going to be a long day...
1. Calling in Sick

**1. Calling in Sick**

To say that the beginning of the week had been hectic for the Guardians of Childhood was an understatement. It was mid-October, and Santa's workshop in the North Pole was already preparing for Christmas like there was no tomorrow. The ice hockey season was starting to get serious in the northern parts of the world, so Toothiana had her hands full with all the knocked out teeth. And to top it all off, something sinister had stirred in the woods of Southern Canada, and some rumours had ominously implied it might have been a Wendigo of all things. This had been alarming enough to get every Guardian to investigate it and abandon their jobs for a good few hours before the menace had been located.

Luckily it turned out to be just a wild yeti who was larger than average and who had gone rogue and crashed through a few empty buildings after venturing too close to humans. The Guardians had been quick to lead the poor thing to a more peaceful environment. It hadn't really been anything that would have warranted the attention of all five of them, but in their defence, a real Wendigo would have been. Too bad the whole affair had distracted them from their work. It was especially bad for Nicholas St. North, who should have really been constantly supervising his yetis and elves this close to Christmas. So he wasn't very pleased to get home and find that the elves had caused a temporary blackout in a couple of rooms. He was even less pleased to wake up the next morning and realize that he was feeling strange.

Had he been mortal, it wouldn't have been so strange. He would have immediately identified the coughing and sore throat as the beginnings of a very nasty cold. But seeing how he hadn't really been sick in at least a century, it took him a while. And when he did, he was even more confused. How had he gotten sick? His immune system was practically airtight and he could easily walk off a collision with an air plane – and he had, actually, on one memorable Christmas Eve. He could even withstand millions of times more alcohol than a mortal. He wiped his forehead with a tattooed arm and tried to think.

Then it hit him: he had given the Guardians a ride back to their homes, and on the way they had encountered probably the fiercest rainstorm in the last decade or so. That combined with stress and probably the chilly air during the sleigh ride must have been enough to... Except that they were still Guardians. Spirits. Immortals. Maybe they had been hit with hostile magic. Wait, that meats the others might be feeling under the weather as well.

So North had no choice but to leave the yetis and elves to their own devices and call for a Guardian meeting. For the second time that week.

He sat down to a very puffy armchair close to his largest fireplace. Normally the meeting would have been held in the globe room, but this time there was no danger for the children – North had checked the lights the first thing in the morning – and he might as well sit down. For the first time since the battle with Pitch North could feel his age catching up to him. Not in the usual sense. He didn't start feeling weaker or older, but somehow sore and stiff. A nagging feeling that he _should _feel older started somewhere in the back of his mind. He didn't like it.

He didn't have to wait for long before a rainbow of feathers zipped through an open window that was kept open just because most of the Guardians didn't use doors. Said bundle of feathers was the Tooth Fairy, and she looked far more tired than usual. Her feathers had lost their usual shine and her wings stopped fluttering as soon as she was close enough to the floor.

"North!" she greeted in a slightly hoarse voice, "What's wrong? Are the children safe? What-?"

"No worries, Tooth," North assured wearily, "Children are fine. It is you I worried about."

Toothiana blinked, her long pink eyelashes catching the firelight.  
"Me?" she asked, "I'm fine. Just a bit woozy after hurrying here. I was about to head for Hong Kong to collect some teeth, but..."

"You were sick?" North guessed.

Toothiana huffed and crossed her arms.  
"I don't know why. I don't get sick. Wait..." She studied North carefully, "You don't look so good either."

Before North could reassure her that it was just a cold, a golden cloud of sand floated into the room, and the Sandman hopped onto the floor, waving his small hand in a greeting. He didn't look very sick, just more tired than normal. And maybe his usually bright golden glow was dimmer. North wasn't entirely sure.

"Sandy," North nodded, "Good to see you. We should probably wait for Bunny and Jack to-"

As if on cue a tall, grey bunny hopped into view from the direction of the globe room. Bunnymund was shivering and he quickly made his way very close to the fireplace.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"North and I are not feeling very well," Toothiana informed and then had to stop for a quick sneeze, "Are you boys okay?"

Sandy shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand in a "so-so" manner. Bunny's fur bristled and he shook his head.

"Wasn't feeling that great either," he admitted reluctantly, "You think it's some sorta magic?"

"It might be," North mused, "That is why I summoned you. To make sure you are all right, and-"

"Hey, guys!"

"Why am I always interrupted? Hello, Jack."

Jack Frost landed in the middle of the room, bringing a pile of snow along with him that settled under the teenager's bare feet like a welcome mat. The boy was as energetic as ever. Sure, he was deathly pale, but that was normal for the Spirit of Winter. Jack looked around with an attentive smile and leaned to his crooked staff.

"Sorry I'm late," he said peppily, "I was checking on Wendy when you sent the signal. She wanted to give me a present before I left."

He lifted up what looked like a frozen, half-eaten fish. The others stared at it.

"Um... Wendy?" North finally dared to ask.

"The yeti from yesterday," Jack said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I named her Wendy. She found a nice cave in Yukon. It's amazing how fast she can get around if she wants to. She seems fine now."

"Well, that's great," Toothiana smiled uncertainly, "Say, Jack, are you feeling all right?"

Jack looked confused.  
"Why d'you ask? I didn't actually eat any of this fish if that's what you're asking."

"No, no," Toothiana waved her hand and then sneezed again, "North called us here because we're all sick. We were just wondering..."

"Wait, you guys are sick?" Jack's eyes widened, "I didn't even know you _could_ get sick."

"Well, somehow we did," Bunnymund remarked, "We're just trying to find out why."

"Even Sandy?" Jack asked and looked at the little dream weaver. Sandy shrugged his shoulders again and formed some Zs out of sand over his head and then pointed at himself. So North had been right; Sandy was feeling more tired than normally.

"But you are feeling fine, Jack?" Toothiana asked again.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jack smirked and it spoke volumes about Tooth's poor condition that she didn't even attempt to catch a better look at the boy's teeth, "I never get cold. The rainstorm wasn't nice, though. Do you know how long it took to get all that ice out of my skin?"

North remembered Jack's complaints the day before, when the rain had hit. The boy had shrieked in a way that was almost comical and tried to shield himself in vain. Soon they had all been soaked to the bone, all except Jack whose natural aura of coldness had frozen the water on the boy's clothes and skin. North could now see that there were still some extra icicles in the boy's frosty white hair.

"Wait a minute..." Bunny stood up from his spot and went up to the young winter spirit. He poked the boy's shoulder, "I get it now. We got sick 'cause we had to suffer a ride through rain with this walking icepack right next to us!"

"What?" Jack raised his hands defensively, "You're blaming_ me _for this, Cottontail?"

"It does make sense," North said and coughed. He wasn't feeling like thinking too much about anything. His head was starting to hurt.

"Well, okay, it does," Jack sighed, "Sorry. I can't help it. It's like Bunny and allergens."

"Hey! People aren't allergic to me!"

"Oh, we aren't mad at you, Jack," Toothiana said hurriedly to stop the verbal battle that was about to start. She fluttered over to Jack to put her hand on his shoulder, "We should have been more prepared for extreme weather. I mean, it _is_ autumn in Canada now."

She was cut off when she had to cover her nose and sneeze. Two mini versions of her popped out from under her wings then and looked attentively at their queen. Jack stared at them, icy blue eyes wide in surprise.

"Uh, Tooth?" he said, "You just sneezed fairies."

Toothiana snapped back to attention.  
"No, no. It's just that I need a bit more helpers. Sorry. Bad timing for that I guess."  
She quickly pointed at the two new helpers.  
"Two more in Hong Kong and one in Arambag! Go!"

The fairies nodded and flew off like overly excited hummingbirds. Tooth sighed and lifted herself a bit higher up into the air.  
"Well, since there wasn't any magic messing with us, I suppose I just have to get back to work..."

"Ya sure you're up to it?" Bunny asked, "Ya don't look well."

"It's just a cold," Toothiana said, "I'm sure it will be gone in the morning."

She folded her arms across her chest and zipped towards a window – and collided with the glass and slid back down to the floor.

"Tooth!"

North, Bunny, and Jack had been equally quick to shout out the fairy's name, but it was Jack who got to her first. He hooked his hands under her arms and helped her up. She looked disoriented, but quickly recovered when Jack shook her shoulders gently.

"I'm fine," she assured, "Just a little mix-up with the windows. I'll just be going now... again..."

"Hold up there, Sheila!" Bunny said, "It doesn't look like ya're fine."

"Can't your fairies handle things for today?" Jack asked worriedly. Tooth shivered and Jack quickly withdrew his hands from her shoulders, "Your fairies are fine, right?"

"Oh, yes," Tooth said, "Don't worry. Most of them were on the field when the rainstorm hit."

"Good!" North said merrily, "Tooth is welcome to stay here. As is everyone else. Is nice and warm here and we can all rest."

"I can't rest now!" Bunny protested, "I was just developing this new flavour of chocolate and let me tell ya, the ingredients for it were bloody hard to get!"

"And how about Sandy?" Tooth pointed out, "He should be out there even now, and... Sandy?"

Sandy had fallen asleep. This wasn't all that unusual, but now it was enough for North to decide not to let any of the Guardians leave before they got better. As Toothiana had already pointed out, they would probably be fine tomorrow. What was deadly for a mortal was merely a temporary nuisance for a spirit, so a simple cold surely would be nothing.

"I tell the yetis to get you all some soup," North said firmly as if that sealed the deal, "You all stay here. I will be in workshop."

He tried to stand, but his head felt like it was stuffed with wool. Again, he felt the age that was telling him to feel older than he was supposed to. Maybe he really needed the rest as well.

"Jack?" he said and turned to the only healthy person in the room.

"What?" the boy asked.

"Could you give the yetis a hand?"

"Me?"

"Yes. You help them help us."

Jack looked at the others a bit uncertainly, his right hand stuffed into the pocket of his hoodie.  
"I was planning to visit Burgess today... But I suppose I owe this to you guys. It is kinda my fault you're sick."

Sandy suddenly woke up with a start and seemed to have no idea what they were talking about. He gave Jack an encouraging smile nevertheless and then conjured up some sand-pictures that might have either expressed gratitude or possibly warned about a charging rhinoceros. North's head was so stuffy he couldn't really interpret the silent man's charades right now. Jack smiled at him.

"Uh, thanks? I'll watch out for that... rhino?"

Sandy face-palmed and then nodded off again. Jack chuckled nervously.  
"Huh... who would've thought the Guardians could be brought down by a measly cold."

"Nothin' funny about that," Bunny muttered darkly and shivered again, curling up next to a fireplace.

"I think it's _very _funny, Cottontail," Jack smirked.

Bunny rolled his eyes.  
"Well, ya promised to help us, so ya might wanna get to work, nurse Jackie."

He got a snowball in the face for that.

* * *

**Author's Note: Since I've been only writing angst and serious business stuff lately, I figured I could do something sillier for a change and see how it goes. It's mostly written with the method of just typing and not thinking whether or not what you type is actually anything even remotely intelligent. I was originally going to make this into a long one-shot but I guess it flows a bit better if I split it up to two or three parts.**

**I still can't write accents!**

**Reviews are very much appreciated!**


	2. Chocolate and Boredom

**2. Chocolate and Boredom**

Jack hadn't expected to end up as a little helper for the yetis when he had been called to North Pole for another Guardian meeting. He had been slightly worried that something bad had come up again. But no, it was a cold. Something he still couldn't wrap his head around. Jack never got cold or otherwise ill. Well, unless you counted the sick and loopy feeling he got when he spent too much time in warm climate. How was he supposed to know how to treat something when he didn't even know what it felt like?

Jack sauntered out of the cosy room where the Guardians had settled in. He jumped lightly over a couple of elves who were for some unknown reason carrying around something that looked like a car battery. Deciding it wasn't his problem, Jack continued into the workshop area, where he would no doubt find some of North's helper yetis. The workshop was in its usual more or less organized chaos. The yetis were doing their best to keep going even without North's guidance. Even though Jack wasn't looking forward to playing nurse, he could admit that the yetis did have their hands full in the workshop. Jack stepped in and he had to duck under a remote controlled plane. One of the yetis – a large chestnut coloured one – called out gruffly and Jack waved back.

"Hi!" he said, "North and the others have a cold. I think they need soup or something. North told me to help you."

The yeti nodded and sprung into action, leaving the small cars he had been painting in a neat pile. Maybe the yetis had some knowledge on treating winter illnesses. Jack sure hoped so. The yeti signalled two of his colleagues and they quickly ushered Jack into the massive kitchen of the workshop. The room was so huge that the entire population of Liechtenstein could have probably fit in there without any problems. There were five refrigerators that were so large that Jack could have curled up on one of the shelves and still close the door after him. He had once fallen asleep in one of them, actually. He didn't even remember how that had happened. There was also at least three stoves and a big black cauldron that was filled to the brim with porridge. Plates full of chocolate chip cookies had been lifted a bit higher up to keep the elves from reaching them right away. Not that it stopped them from trying, though. Dozens of the tiny things were running around and when the yetis started pulling out ingredients for some hot vegetable soup, a few of the elves jumped onto the kitchen counters to help them. Or possibly to eat the carrots one of the yetis started to chop up.

The yeti that Jack had signalled before suddenly turned back and pointed at Jack, grumbling something in Yetish.

"Uh... what?"

As an answer, the yeti dumped a large, intricately decorated samovar into Jack's arms.

"You want me to make tea?" Jack asked, "Okay... I can do that."

The yeti considered it for a moment, and then snatched the samovar back with an annoyed grunt. The amount of trust the yetis put in him was just so heart-warming. The yeti pointed at the kitchen cupboards and then to the teapot. Okay, so he had been demoted to looking for ingredients. He quickly hopped onto the nearest counter and opened a cupboard before the yeti changed his mind again.

North had apparently accumulated a substantial tea collection during the centuries he had been alive. Most of the flavours were Christmas-y and some of them might have been especially good for treating colds. The problem was that Jack didn't really know anything about teas. He had drank ice tea a couple of times, but that was it. He randomly took out a bag that had black tea with rose hip, cinnamon, and chocolate in it, at least according to the slightly faded label. Who put chocolate in tea anyway? Well, it would do. He tossed the bag to the yeti, who caught it and grunted in approval.

"Glad I could help," Jack said dryly and flipped down from the counter.

The yetis sent him to look for North's bag of medical equipment next. It was a huge leather suitcase and Jack dragged it straight to the room where the Guardians were resting. North hadn't moved from the armchair, and Bunny was still hunched close to the fireplace, trying to warm himself up. Tooth had settled to another armchair near the fire. Her wings fluttered nervously and she was drumming her fingers against the armrest. She was probably stressing about her fairies and didn't even seem to realize where she was anymore. Tooth really needed a break every now and then. Sandy was leaning to the wall and creating golden dreams that ran up into the sky through the open window. The little guy was still half-asleep and his dreams didn't seem to be on par with what he usually created. A three-headed sand puppy pranced to and around Jack as he entered the room.

"That's really cool!" Jack said and poked the puppy in the side.

Sandy looked at him and then his eyes widened as if the puppy really wasn't meant to have three heads. The puppy quickly hopped through the window and disappeared. The other Guardians turned to look at Jack, all except Tooth, who was still staring at the ceiling.

"Ah, my old medical bag!" North exclaimed when Jack let the heavy thing thump onto the floor, "Excellent! There should be something that helps with headache and cough."

Jack rummaged through the stuff. The suitcase seemed to hold much more than it should be able to. Well, it did belong to Santa Claus, so he shouldn't really be surprised. There were rolls of bandages and boxes of band-aids, but those weren't really needed right now. Jack set them aside and then felt a cough burning in his throat when some dust puffed out of the case.

"This stuff hasn't been used for a while, has it?" he remarked as he dug out bottles of some sort of foul-smelling salve.

North shrugged his massive shoulders.  
"I don't usually need more than bandages for elves and yetis."

"Well, yeah fair enough. But seriously, you've had 3D-printers for decades but your medical equipment is still from the medieval times?"

"Medieval?" North snorted, "Not really. But some of them are antiques, yes. So be careful. That, for example," he gestured towards brass scales that Jack was currently holding, "Is from largest leprosy hospice in Europe from the 1800s."

Jack dropped the scales in disgust and blew on his hands until they were frozen. North laughed.

"Relax. Is cleaned up."

"Good to know," Jack rolled his eyes and then took out an old thermometer, "Do you guys think you have fever?"

If they had, there was no way Jack could know. Compared to him, the Guardians were all overheated.

"I don't think so," North said, a hand on his forehead, "Maybe just see if you find some cold medicine."

All right. Maybe this wasn't so difficult, then. Jack shook the remaining ice from his hands and finally fished out a bottle of something syrupy. It looked a lot like what he had seen little Sophie Bennett grudgingly take when she had caught a cold, "Hey, will this do?"

North clapped his knees.  
"Perfect!"

Tooth's head suddenly snapped up.  
"A canine in Shanghai!"

She looked around and she seemed to realize she wasn't in her palace, surrounded by her mini-fairies. She smiled sheepishly and slumped in her seat. They _really_ needed to get better soon. Jack inspected the bottle of cold medicine a bit more closely and realized something.

"Um, North?" he said, "This expired in 1973."

Sandy grimaced and formed an X over his head.

"Sandy's right," Bunny said, "Forget about the medicine. All we need is a bit of... _rest_."

The word "rest" sounded like it was poison on Bunny's tongue. Jack could have said something snarky about it, but he didn't, as just then the yetis growled from the kitchen and he had to dart back to see what was going on. Apparently the yetis were busy shooing elves away from the now finished bowl of soup. The yeti in charge of the kitchen glimpsed Jack at the door and gestured at two trays on a side counter. There were five mugs of tea and five bowls of steaming soup on them, and Jack got the message and took the trays to deal them out to the ailing Guardians. There was a mug and a bowl for Jack as well, but he quickly set them aside. He didn't need them right now.

The other Guardians seemed grateful for the warming food and drink, though. In the blink of an eye, North had already emptied both containers and leaned back with a very happy expression on his face. Tooth held the soup between her hands and stared at it like it was the greatest thing since xylitol. Sandy chugged down the tea and gave a thumbs-up. Bunny smelled the soup and then the tea, and then took an experimental sip of both. It was funny to see the Easter Bunny, who was such a fearsome, even hot-headed fighter when the situation called for it acting so... analytical. Jack had by now realized that outside a battlefield Bunnymund was first and foremost an artist. And to some extent a scientist as well. And it took just a hint of a threat towards children to turn him into Crocodile Dundee.

"Mate?" said Bunny suddenly asked, his voice sounding thick, "Why do I taste _chocolate _in my tea?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders.  
"North just had a huge collection of Christmas teas. I picked one randomly. What? Does the mighty Easter Bunny have a problem with chocolate?"

Bunny's nose twitched in irritation.  
"It's a perfectly reasonable problem, ya gumby! I'm a Pooka! Pookas shouldn't have chocolate without a good reason!"

You learn something new every day. How was he supposed to know that? The biology of giant fighter rabbits wasn't the first thing Jack felt he needed to know in his life. Jack crossed his arms. The other Guardians stared at Bunny apprehensively.

"Um... are you feeling all right, Bunny?" Tooth asked cautiously. She was in the air now, her wings moving almost erratically.

Bunny had stood up to his full height and was shifting his weight nervously. His green eyes darted back and forth and he seemed to be pondering whether or not it was called for to... explode or something. Jack honestly wasn't sure what would happen. Hopefully it wouldn't actually hurt Bunny or anything.

"I think I'm fine," Bunny said after a long moment of awkward silence, "It was a very small dose and not too great quality of chocolate at that. I think it's-"

And then a third arm grew from his side and he fell gracelessly onto his back.

Jack clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle both a cry of alarm and hysterical laughter that both wanted to escape at the same time. Tooth and North gasped and Sandy seemed mildly amused. Bunny himself didn't seem to be hurt, but he was very angry, if his indignant muttering was anything to go by.

"Bloody hell! Sickness and chocolate don't mix! Three arms! Do ya know how hard it's to keep balance with three arms?"  
Bunny looked at Jack with open hostility. It would have been almost frightening if Jack hadn't known Bunny would never _really _hurt him.  
"Once this wears off, you'd better run, Frostbite!"

Jack didn't trust himself enough to withdraw his hand from his mouth yet. He could only nod wordlessly and tried desperately to shut away the thousands of prank ideas that now filled his mind. This wasn't the time for that.

"Bunny?" North reached out to pull the Pooka to his feet. Bunny hung his newest arm limply at his side and used the other two to dust his fur as if that would somehow restore his dignity.

"I'm fine, Nick," Bunny huffed, "I'll just sit here by the fire and mentally strangle nurse Frosty while I'm at it."

"I can just feel the love," Jack said dryly from behind his hand. Then he ran out of the door and burst out laughing as soon as he was out of range of Bunny's boomerangs.

* * *

During the next few hours Jack learned that the most difficult thing for a sick Guardian was to stay still. Well, he figured that would be the hardest part for him as well. Definitely. But for North, Bunny, Tooth and Sandy it wasn't so much because of boredom but because of their will to not stop working. Even North, who had been the one to suggest a day off, was constantly trying to get back up to check on his workshop. Tooth was in danger of falling into some sort of coma where all she did was blurt out names of random places even when there were no fairies around her to ask for directions. Bunny was constantly making notes on something. Sometimes it was formulas and sometimes it was sketches of new egg designs. Sandy was the only one who actually rested, but that was probably because he simply was so sleepy he couldn't keep himself awake. It was almost sad, really.

So after a while of watching his fellow Guardians squirm under the pressure of not doing anything, Jack set out to find something for them to do. Something to take their minds off things. The yetis pointed him to North's huge library, and Jack gathered as many books into his arms as he possibly could. He did his best to pick titles that sounded at least remotely interesting. He also uncovered a deck of basic playing cards and shrugged before slapping them to the top of the leaning tower of books he was carrying.

The sight of books seemed to snap Toothiana out of her coma. She was beside Jack in a flash, taking the whole pile from him as if it weighed nothing. She quickly sorted through it and took out a reasonably thick book.  
"Ooh, a Gogol!" she said with sudden interest, "Thank you, Jack!"

She zipped back to her chair and opened the book, immersing herself into it with almost frightening excitement.

"North?" Jack asked in a small voice, "Is Tooth... okay?"

North waved his hand nonchalantly.  
"She tries to keep mind off work. I think is good."

North's blue eyes widened when he noticed the deck of cards.  
"You found my cards! I thought elves fed them to reindeer five years ago."

He snatched the cards and shuffled them expertly, and for a second Jack had a mental image of North as a blackjack-dealer in a casino. It was so funny he almost laughed out loud, but then he figured at least one of them had to appear somewhat sane in the situation. Somehow that job had fallen upon him. Jack Frost. That was not good.

"Bunny, you want to play?" North asked, and Bunny lifted his eyes from his newest sketch.

"Nah, I'm good," he muttered and looked back down.

"Oh, come on, Bunny!" Jack huffed and knocked his knuckles lightly on Bunny's forehead to emphasize his words, "Have some fun! It's good for ya!"

Bunny slapped the cold hand away when a couple of tendrils of frost sneaked into his fur.  
"Get off, Brainfreeze! Ugh, fine! I'll play."

"Great!" North beamed as he somehow juggled with the cards, "Back in my day, we used to play lot of cards with my bandits! We'll see if I still got it."

His joy was contagious. Jack sat cross-legged onto the floor. At least there was some fun to be had even on a sick day.

* * *

**Author's Note: First of all: Bunny growing extra limbs by eating chocolate is book-canon! I could not make that craziness up (well, maybe I could but not in fanfiction)! In the books, eating chocolate has very unpredictable effects on a Pooka, and it apparently makes them more aggressive in battle and yes, sometimes they might grow extra limbs or heads (at least that's how I understood it). Also, I've never drank chocolate tea, but I've been planning on tasting some. I mean, since I am both a tea freak and a chocolate nut it's kind of like a must, don't you think?**

**North having 3D-printers was inspired by a really funny and educational article in a Finnish ****_Tiede_**** (science) -magazine that had 24 facts about Santa Claus. There were things like how many kids Santa visits and how fast he should go and yes, even how many times more alcohol he can drink than a normal human.**

**Gah, winter break is almost over and I'm still tired! Well, at least the weather is nice even though it seems to think it's still February and just keeps going back to freezing and snowing. Oh, well. I like it.**


	3. Rest and Cookies

**3. Rest and Cookies**

"This is the most boring fun I've ever had in my entire life!"

"Ya're just cranky 'cause you've lost five times I a row."

"No," Jack folded his arms and almost pouted, "I'm just really bored."

Bunny rolled his eyes.  
"Ya sure ya're over 300 years old? 'Cause ya're acting like a little-"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Now, now," North said diplomatically, "Play nice, you two. Just because I won every time... What is it, Sandy?"

Sandy had woken up, and Jack hoped it wasn't because of their squabbling. The little guy really needed his rest. But Sandy was gesturing towards the hallway behind the open doorway of the room, and as the others looked there they could see a queue of elves carrying dubious looking scrap metal. North heaved a sigh.

"I suppose I have to see elves don't make too big mess around workshop."

North was about to stand, but Jack stopped him. If he was going to be the caretaker for the day, he might as well live up to that. And escape the boredom of Go Fish.

"I'll check it out," he said and jumped to his feet. He grabbed his staff from the floor and tossed his cards to Sandy, "You want to take it over from here?"

Sandy nodded happily and Jack skipped his way out of the workshop. He almost squashed an elf that scurried past him like a pointy red mouse. It was carrying an extension cord that dragged behind it like a tail. Jack usually left the elves be – unless he felt like using them for target practise or pranks – but this time they really seemed to be up to something. Jack slung his staff over his shoulder and ran after the elf.

The elves were building something. That was nothing new. The elves lived under a firm delusion that they were actually building Santa's toys. And North was glad to encourage that delusion, since the elves made excellent product testers. This time the elves had put together a monstrosity of a... well, to be honest, Jack had no idea what it was. He could see the car battery there, as well as what the extension cord was supposed to be plugged into. It might have been a life-size mechanical terrier. If terriers had their eyes situated somewhere below their nose and exhaust pipes all over their bodies. It apparently ran with electricity, although it looked like putting any sort of current through it was definitely not a good idea. Jack crouched down and the elves looked at him curiously, their large pointy ears flapping as they spun to face him.

"That's great work, guys," Jack said like North had instructed him to while dealing with the elves, "Why don't you take a break while North recovers?"

The elves glanced at each other and then seemed to decide that no, they didn't want to take a break. One of them grabbed the extension cord. Yeah, no. Not going to happen. Jack froze the elf, and it toppled over looking like a frosted garden gnome. The other elves didn't seem to mind the harsh treatment of their colleague. Another one merely yanked the cord from tiny frozen hands. Jack sighed and then stood back up. Time for some psychology.

"You know... now that North's there in the fireplace room and the yetis are super busy, there's no one watching the cookies in the kitchen."

The elves halted and stared at him. One of them started to drool.

"Those delicious, delicious, _forbidden_ cookies..."

The frozen elf somehow broke free of the ice while powered by some cookie-crazed surge of adrenaline.

"RACE YOU THERE!" Jack shouted at the top of his lungs and made a quick move as if to start running. The elves scrambled over each other and raced into the kitchen. Jack cheerfully waved after them. He could maybe take this time to confiscate all the cords and then go after the elves to make sure they didn't destroy the kitchen.

He didn't see an elf that had somehow missed the whole concept of racing to the cookies. He only realized it was there when it plugged in the mechanical terrier mutant that promptly exploded into pieces as a display of how improbably destructive bad engineering could be.

* * *

North had begun to feel slightly better. The yetis had made some excellent vegetable soup with extra ginger that soothed the throat. Sandy seemed to have already recovered almost completely. The eldest of the Guardians really wasn't brought down for long by anything. Toothiana had put aside the books and dragged herself up from the chair again to instruct some of her helper fairies that returned for more orders. Even Bunny seemed to have stopped shivering, even though he was still cranky at Jack about the extra arm. Well, one really couldn't blame young Jack about it, North decided. The boy couldn't have known. And it would pass in just a few hours. Compared to growing extra heads or the like, three arms wasn't all that weird.

North was just starting to relax and even considered taking a nap before he would declare himself fit enough to get back to work when they were all jolted to full alertness by an explosion. North was up and had drawn one of his sabres before he even realized it. His head was spinning uncomfortably, but he quickly raced to the door with Toothiana in tow.

"What is it now?" North boomed to the nearest yeti, who just shrugged his shoulders.

It was probably the elves. North's suspicions were confirmed when a bunch of them ran past him and disappeared into the kitchen.

"What's going on there?" Bunny asked and stood up gingerly.

A slightly singed elf stumbled into view and then fell down with ice around its feet and rolled comically across the doorway. An equally singed Jack Frost limped after it and stopped at the door.

"Hey! You guys shouldn't be up yet!"

"Jack?" Toothiana asked and gestured towards the boy's smouldering hoodie, "What happened?"

"Elves," came Jack's slightly dazed reply, "I'll stop them before they eat all the cookies."

"What the-" North started, but he was interrupted yet again as the winter spirit took off running.

"You guys just try to get some rest!" the boy shouted as he went.

North looked at Sandy. Sandy just shrugged.

* * *

When Jack got into the kitchen, the elves had by then managed to devour about a bucketful of cookies and two of the miniature hellions were taking a bath in porridge. A bluish-grey yeti was doing his best to throw the elves out. It looked like it would need some serious stress relief after the day. The poor beast had already torn off fistfuls of hair in rage and screamed something that sounded an awfully lot like "Prkl".

"Uhh... oops?" Jack said, "They're faster than I thought. Okay, everyone. I think that's enough of that."

He plucked one of the elves from a counter by its hat and set it outside and froze its feet to the floor. When he got back up another elf ran to its buddy's defence and brandished a cookie in a way it clearly thought was threatening. Jack raised a brow. About two seconds later the elf was stuck next to its friend in the impromptu time-out corner.

The rest of the elves didn't seem to like this. Well, Jack had to say that he wasn't all that cut out for the situation either. His job should have been to _inspire _fun, not to be the boring grown-up in a situation. But seeing how he had already caused enough trouble today...

"I'm pretty sure you've all had enough cookies now..."  
He hesitated and was interrupted when one of the elves chucked a cookie at him. He caught it instinctively before it hit its mark and ate it.  
"So, let's all get back out," he said with his mouth still full of chocolate chips and cookie crumbs – man, these were delicious.

The elves were confused. Their partner in crime had turned on them.

"But hey, we can do something else that's equally fun... uh..."

Okay, this wasn't the best time for the Guardian of Fun to run out of ideas. Although, at least the elves found almost anything fun if it involved enough noise. Maybe he could...

A cookie hit him right between the eyes. This time he hadn't been expecting it, and it hurt. Okay, so the elves wanted a fight? Those little buggers had eaten enough sugar to think they could take on Jackson Overland Frost? Old Man Winter? The Shepherd of the Cold and the Bringer of Snowballs and Fun Times?

Another cookie hit him in the face. Jack narrowed his eyes and the temperature in the room dropped drastically. It was _on_!

When the blue flashes finally faded, the bluish-grey yeti peeked from behind the counter he had used for cover. A neat row of frozen elves sat on one of the kitchen counters. Cookies, broken plates and even a few pots littered the floor. Jackson Overland Frost, Old Man Winter, the Shepherd of the Cold and the Bringer of Snowballs and Fun Times stood in the midst of it all, breathing heavily and clutching his staff tightly in his hand.

He almost felt like the situation would have warranted some sort of extra witty one-liner. But at the moment he couldn't think of anything. He grabbed a few crumbled cookies from the floor and tossed them into his mouth.

* * *

"What _is_ going on there?" North asked for the fifth time. That was it, he would go there himself. His workshop needed him. Cold and fatigue be damned.

"North, wait!" Toothiana commanded when North stood up from the chair and fought the wave of dizziness, "Jack said he would handle it."

"Is my workshop," North said almost childishly, "I do what I want. You wait here."

He marched towards the door, but again he couldn't get far before he almost ran into Jack Frost, who rarely believed that normal walking speed was quick enough and was even now running back to check on the patients.

"North!" Jack snapped and put his hands on his hips, calling the wind to lift him to North's eye level, "What are you doing up? You look like you're about to fall asleep."

"What happened?" North asked back.

"The elves were making a mess in the kitchen. I took care of it."

"You froze them?" North guessed. Wouldn't be the first time.

"They'll be fine," Jack gave North's shoulder a push, "Now, get back in there!"

North grudgingly obliged. He sat down onto the armchair and relaxed the best he could.

"Looks like nurse Frosty got ya," Bunny smirked from his spot.

Both North and Jack cast the Easter Bunny a murderous glare.

"Of course I got him," Jack said, "You're all dead on your feet. Weren't you supposed to be resting?"

"I can't rest now!" Toothiana argued, "My fairies still need their instructions!"

"They'll be fine. You need a proper break."

"We _are_ takin' a break, Frostbite," Bunny said.

"You were writing down a very detailed chemical formula of your new chocolate even as you said that!"

Bunny quickly put the paper and pen away and pretended they had never been there. Jack rolled his eyes.  
"Sandy, knock them out."

Sandy nodded in agreement.

"Now hold on, mate..." Bunny raised his paws defensively.

Sandy formed a ball of dreamsand in his hand and threw it, and North and the others were plunged into the land of dreams.

* * *

Jack watched as the Guardians fell asleep thanks to Sandy's excellent aiming skills.

"Thanks, Sandy," he said and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, "You seem to be better, by the way."

Sandy conjured up some affirmative sand images. Jack smiled. It was nice to see at least one of them was getting better. And maybe the others would get well soon once they woke up. Again, Jack didn't have much experience in being sick. But he did know that sleeping things off usually worked. Unless it was a concussion. And at least the Guardians were peaceful now. Jack looked around in the now quiet room and couldn't help feeling a strange sort of connection to the others. Like he was home. Jack decided he really liked it.

His soup and tea lay forgotten on one of the small tables in the room, and Jack picked them up and took a sip of the tea. It was cold by now, but he didn't mind at all. It tasted funny. Very Christmas-y. Christmas-y tastes felt out of place in October. Now that things had quieted down, he realized he was starting to feel tired himself. After all, he had been running around to get all sorts of stuff for his ailing companions, chased elves and been in an explosion. It had been a rough day for him too. Once this was over he would fly back to Burgess and get a good night's sleep at his lake. The Guardians had guessed they would be fine by tomorrow. He really hoped so.

He took the empty mugs and cups back to the kitchen and set them down next to the row of elfcicles. The room was a mess, and a light brown yeti had joined his bluish-grey friend to clean it up. Once the blue-grey one noticed Jack, it immediately pointed to the mess on the floor and growled. Jack was too tired to make a quick getaway, especially since the light brown yeti had just picked up a large frying pan and was basically blocking the door.

"Alright, alright," he raised his hands in surrender, "I'll clean it up."

He didn't like cleaning things up. He was much better at making a mess.

He was almost done with the kitchen when a yeti howled in anguish and Jack figured the beast had stumbled upon the remains of the terrier mutant bomb in one of the corridors.

To make sure the elves didn't start another cookie craze once they thawed, he stuffed the rest of them into his pocket and ate them on the way to the aid of the by now very exasperated yetis.

* * *

When North woke up later in the evening, he was feeling much better. In fact, he was feeling just fine. He got up and his head didn't start spinning. Toothiana and Bunnymund were still asleep, but they too looked much healthier. Tooth's feathers had regained their shine and Bunny's third arm was nowhere to be seen. Sandy was up and about. North could see the little man's glow outside the window. Everything seemed to be getting back on track.

He didn't want to disturb his companions, but as he set out to see how his workshop was doing, Tooth stirred, her wings fluttering as she stretched her arms over her head.

"North?" she mumbled sleepily and then her eyes brightened, "Hey! I feel so much better already!"

She sprung into the air excitedly and spun around a few times like an aerial ballerina before looking back at North.  
"How are you feeling?"

"Better as well," North assured, "Now I have to see to my workshop."

"Hey, Bunny is back to normal too!" Tooth pointed out, "Bunny? Wake up!"

Bunny's ears perked and he sat up, feeling his side and nodding with satisfaction when he was sure that yes, he only had two arms. He hopped to his feet.

"It feels good to be back."

"Where's Jack?" Tooth asked and looked around, "Did he leave?"

True enough, the young winter spirit was nowhere in sight. Maybe Sandy would know where the kid was. As if on cue, Sandy floated back inside, waving a greeting and asking with pictures if they had slept well.

"We did," Toothiana said, "Thank you, Sandy!"

"Do you know where Jack is?" North asked, "He needs to be thanked as well."

Sandy looked thoughtful and then pointed to the direction of the workshop. He didn't seem to have more detailed information than that.

"Well, he is probably still here," North pointed at the door, "Now to the workshop. To check if the elves did too much damage."

The workshop was fine, as North could approvingly point out. The yetis hadn't stopped working and North only had to suggest a few quick adjustment to the toys made that day. A large amount of elves was found in the kitchen, where they were warming up by one of the stoves under the close surveillance of a very disgruntled yeti.

"Everything is fine?" North inquired as he approached the yeti.

The yeti grunted affirmatively.

"Good. Now where is Jack Frost?"

The yeti pointed towards one of the back rooms. It was smaller than the one the Guardians had spent the day in, and the air in it was much cooler due to being situated next to one of North's ice storages. They found Jack there, stretched onto the back of a couch, staff loosely in one hand. The boy was asleep, clearly exhausted.

"Aww..." Toothiana cooed, "That's just adorable!"

Jack's eyes fluttered open and he looked at the other Guardians with a confused expression on his eternally young face.  
"Guys?" he asked hoarsely, "What're you doing up?"

"We're feeling much better now," Bunny proclaimed, "A measly cold isn't going to keep Guardians down for long."

"Oh, that's good," Jack sat up slowly, "I was getting tired of looking after you."

"You did very good job," North said and clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Thank you!"

"Yeah, good job," Jack managed a tired grin, "Like made you sick in the first place and made Bunny sprout an extra arm."

"But you still took care of us," Tooth pointed out, "You helped a lot."

Sandy mimed and pictured something that meant something along the lines "the Guardians stick together in sickness and health". North had to agree with that.

Jack smiled a little, but then he yawned and flopped back onto his stomach. Now that North looked closely, he realized how exhausted Jack really was.

"Jack?" Tooth asked, "You... what's wrong?"

Jack pulled his hood up and mumbled something about elves and cookies and then curled up, falling from the back of the couch and onto the cushions. He was asleep in an instant, even without Sandy's help.

The rest of the Guardians glanced at each other and smiled.

In sickness and health...

* * *

**Author's Note: Kagirinai-Eternal pointed out to me that white chocolate isn't really chocolate. Well, yeah, it isn't. That's what I get for typing without thinking. Well, I fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out!**

**So apparently I got sick! Again! Well, at least I managed to take a walk outside before I did. It involved walking through knee-deep snow and then walking on a frozen stream that wasn't quite as frozen as I thought. It seems that super creepy Finnish thin ice PSA didn't traumatize me enough after all. Well, it was a very shallow stream.**

**_Prkl_**** is actually short of ****_Perkele_****, which is a very common Finnish swearword. It's actually the name of an old "pagan" god and probably the only swearword I know that I actually like!**


End file.
